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where did my angel go / Cooper, Shadowhunters
Posted: Nov 6 2017, 10:41 PM
What she was doing was stupid. She knew this. As she walked the streets of London undetected, the runes almost covering her skin keeping her hidden from all mundanes, Gabrielle Sauveterre knew that what she was doing was against her uncle’s wishes. Against the rules. But she didn’t care, because at the end of her road was a destination that meant more to her than anything the Institute or the Clave had to offer, because without him, none of that was worth it.
The Law is hard, but it is the Law.
If she could turn back time, she would, because this was all her fault. She supposed if she looked back on her life, there were a lot of bad things that were her fault, but this one above all was something she’d never forgive herself for. Because he’d still be a Shadowhunter if it weren’t for her, and that truth honestly hurt more than anything than any pain a demon could inflict on her. Even more than a Shax demon’s venom coursing through her veins, which she’d endured twice. He’d been there for her through that, both times.
So she sure as hell was going to be there for him through this, no matter what she’d been told.
She’d gotten cocky. Nobody had to tell her that. Going into a situation like that blind with virtually no backup had been stupid, because everyone knew that rogue werewolves were a force to be reckoned with. Everyone but her, apparently. She should have been dead. Armed with nothing but her stele and seraph blade, she’d waded into the werewolf’s den not having guessed that there could have been not one, but three creatures there lying in wait for her. Gabby hadn’t wanted to do it, because she’d never been particularly fond of hunting down Downworlders, no matter their crime. Maybe it had been her reluctance, or her stupidity, but either way, it had cost him everything.
Because when one of them had had her pinned, ready to slash open her throat after a hard fight, he’d appeared. A beautiful blur of light and bravery, he’d swept in as the hero he’d always been. The man that had been expected to take power in their Institute alongside her, the man she’d laid beside for so many nights, and that she’d trained alongside for so many years. And he had paid the ultimate price for her stupidity, for her incompetence. For mundanes, she supposed that phrase might have meant he’d lost his life, but no. He’d lost more than his life, he’d lost his runes, and his place amongst their kind.
She had cost him his future. She had cost him his family. She had cost him everything.
God, she hated herself.
Being Gabby, though, she had turned her hate onto the most susceptible of victims: the rules. She could pretend all she wanted that this was the fault of her uncle, who had looked down on her and told her with a guilty but firm voice that this was the will of the Clave. He should be dead, but by some demonic force, he was still alive, and could therefore no longer be allowed to act as a Shadowhunter. He could no longer marry her, no longer run the Institute, no longer be one of them. Gabby remembered crying that night, sobbing over his body while she’d waited for him to wake up.
She could pretend all she wanted, but she knew exactly whose fault it was. It was hers, and therefore, that made this expedition desperate and selfish.
She shouldn’t still want him, but what did the Law have to do with love? She should have known before now, that this was what she’d felt. Perhaps that might have stopped her from going into that den alone, and maybe it might have stopped all of this. She didn’t know. Hindsight was twenty-twenty, or so she’d been told, and honestly she wasn’t sure about much of anything. Except for one thing: no matter what he was, Downworlder, Shadowhunter, mundane, hell maybe even demon, she was his. And he was hers. To hell with the rules, the Law. It probably made him upset, but she couldn’t live without him.
Gabby wandered up the intersection of Willow and Hanover and looked up at the window she knew was his. He wasn’t there, but she hadn’t expected him to be. Honestly, she’d come in relative disguise, and with no announcement of her intentions. The Institute had just become stuffy without him (as it was wont to do), and she needed him. It was selfish, she knew, but she knew he missed it. Almost as much as she selfishly liked to believe he missed her. She walked up to the door, and pounded on it; no matter how sick or nervous it made her, she’d wait it out. He was worth it, always.
Posted: Nov 6 2017, 10:41 PM
The small loft that Cooper had been able to find and let on the meager amount of savings he had - along with what his mother had given him before he’d had to leave the only home he’d ever known - was still fairly bare, but it was serviceable. He had a few pieces of furniture; a bed, a table, a bookshelf with a few titles on it. He’d been here for a couple weeks now, but it still felt like a temporary dwelling.
It wasn’t though. Every morning he woke up, he had to remember and deal with the fact that his life as he knew it for the past two decades was over and that this was his new reality. It was… more difficult than he originally thought it was going to be. But he was working on it. He’d found a place to live. He was looking for work. It was slow going, of course, because none of his experience helped him in the mundane world. Special skills: beheading demons, reading angelic text, otherwise being an angelic warrior. He couldn’t really see that going well on job applications.
Still, he’d had an interview today, so that was something.
He also knew, deep down, that he didn’t just have to deal with the mundane aspect of his life. Cooper had to deal with the part of him that was a downworlder as well. He could go it alone; he knew all the lore on werewolves. But that might make him, a former Shadowhunter on his own, a target. He should, he knew, reach out to one of London’s packs. Not the one that turned him, obviously. Those werewolves were dead or facing the Clave. No, he’d pick one that was in good standing with the Clave, that followed it’s laws and never made trouble.
Of course, part of him worried that the same reason he shouldn’t stay on his own would be the reason he wouldn’t be accepted as part of any pack. He’d been a Shadowhunter, and a fairly prominent one at that. He’d grown up in the London Institute, and had come up as one of the best and brightest. He and his parabatai were a deadly force against demons, and his betrothal to the love of his life would have meant some day helping her run the Institute. He was well known in the Downworld; respected by some, reviled by others. Making his place among them as one of them would not be easy.
So he hadn’t yet. He’d just been going through the motions of life as a mundane, all too aware of the approaching full moon.
Cooper stepped out of the shower at the end of another long day, catching sight of himself in the mirror as he towelled off. Even his own body was a whole new, unfamiliar experience for him. He was still covered with scars, of course, from the various battles he’d been in. The newest was newly healed, slashes across his shoulder from the beast that had turned him. But the runes that he’d accumulated over his years of training had been stripped from him. Cooper’s hand hovered over the place his parabatai rune had been.
That had been the hardest. He’d been bound to his best friend for years, and had forgotten what it was like to not feel his presence. Cooper could bear a lot of pain, but losing that bond after having been stripped of his home and his name and his family… it had almost ruined him. Shaking his head, Cooper pushed his mind off the thought. That was really the only way to keep surviving, to put it behind him and move on to the next thing that needed to be done to survive. It was all he could do.
Pulling his pants on, Cooper heard a knock at the door. Frowning, but figuring it was his landlord or a neighbor, he crossed the space and pulled open the door.
Speaking of things that had nearly broken him.
He’d loved Gabby his whole life. They’d been close friends as children, lovers as teenagers, and finally betrothed as adults. Since her uncle wasn’t exactly going to step down anytime soon, they hadn’t felt the need to rush to the alter. Still, he’d been looking forward to seeing her in that gold dress he knew his mother had been helping her with. He was sure she would have been breathtaking.
But he knew that that wasn’t going to happen now. Shadowhunters weren’t permitted to marry Downworlders. Some did carry on relationships with them on the DL, but unions between the two weren’t permitted by the Clave. Rather than keeping a shadow of what he’d once had, he knew the best thing for them both would be to call it quits. To Cooper, that meant not seeing Gabby, at least until he was fully adjusted to his new life.
That was why he’d asked his family not to tell her where to find him. They had his address, because he knew they’d worry if they didn’t, but even his family was discouraged from coming around. He sighed as he took in the sight of Gabby in his doorway. “Who’d you con into giving you my address?” he asked, holding the door open wide so she could enter.
Sig by Crystal
Posted: Jan 9 2018, 01:25 AM
The truth was, Gabby actually had no idea what kind of reception she’d receive. And even though that terrified her, more than she would ever admit out loud, she kept her chin defiantly high with a reserved and defensive look in those expressive dark eyes of hers. Whatever he’d say, whatever he’d do, she refused to be turned away. Not until she was sure he knew exactly how she felt about this entire scenario, and about him. To hell with the Law. If it kept her from being with him in all the ways she wanted to be, then it was the Law that was in the wrong. Not this.
At least, that’s what she kept telling herself.
As soon as the door swung open and revealed the man inside, Gabby exhaled a breath she hadn’t even known she’d been holding, as any and all efforts at a pretense seemed to vanish the second she’d laid eyes on him. Why couldn’t he put on a fucking shirt? She drank him in hungrily, almost desperately, and did her best not to be too distracted by the lack of runes that she was so used to seeing all over his skin. All that Gabby could see where the scars, and for a brief second, all she could do was wonder just how many of them were her own fault. Probably more than she was comfortable with admitting.
Swallowing, as soon as he opened the door wider, she shouldered past him and immediately stormed in as if to ensure that he couldn’t just shut the door on her. Cooper wouldn’t be able to get her to leave, not without using force. She made it increasingly clear by taking an almost defensive stance in the center of his main room, arms folded tightly across her chest. “Your mother gave it to me. I didn’t con her into anything,” she told him fiercely with a scowl. Gabby didn’t mention that Maggie had likely given her the address because of how utterly destroyed Gabby had been acting, or that as soon as the older Shadowhunter had hinted she knew where Cooper was, Gabby had honed in on it like a bloodhound with a scent. “And I wanted to see you. So I came.”
There was so much packed into those words, a choked flood of emotions that was almost impossible to hold in. The dark-haired Shadowhunter swallowed as, for a moment, she actually managed to keep control over the instincts screaming for her to touch him, to embrace him, to do or say anything that might suggest how she still felt. (It was especially difficult given his definitive lack of a shirt.) Perhaps, she thought bitterly, if she controlled herself more often, they wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place.
It was no use feeling sorry for herself, or for him, anymore. What was done was done, and all there was now was the future. A future with him that she refused to let go of.
Instead, Gabby took a brief look about the sparse apartment, and in that instant, she was determined to help buy him whatever he needed. Whatever he wanted, to make this place a home for him. It was only right, she decided, given that she’d cost him the home they’d shared for so long. She swallowed again, before fully looking at Cooper, really looking at him, before murmuring out in a choked voice, “And I miss you.” It was one of those rare admittances from her, and she immediately looked away. “I wanted to say that I was sorry. There wasn’t a lot of time… before.” Before he’d been stripped of his runes and whisked away from the Institute. She’d really fucked up, hadn’t she?